A crazy night in the rhythmless nation

Where oh where do I begin??? So I told ya’ll yesterday how I went on a tour and I met J–kid from Chicago that was on the tour. We chatted it up most of the day and he told me he was going back to this club in Xi’an called 1+1. Since I haven’t been out to a club since I’ve been in China, I thought it would be cool to see how the Chinese kids get down.

We went with several other people, one of which is absolutely the funniest kid I’ve met so far, O. We decided to walk and drink beer along the way, LOL. So of course my feet are killing me, but it was a good opportunity to learn a little bit more about the people here.

I actually need to back-track a bit. Remember yesterday when I said I’d gotten an earful from J. I don’t have time to share all of the stories now, LOL, but one of them was how J met another guy while traveling. This guy got J “hip to the game” of how to get free drinks around here. Basially, he goes to the club, looks for a table with a lot of drinks on it (and women sitting at the table of courst) and chats them up. Basically the drinks keep coming–he gets drunk–but you have to leave at precisely the right time because most of the women at the table are prostitutes or will end up trying to get you to buy all the drinks they’ve had for the night.

Okay with that in mind, we all go to 1+1. J, of course, has his plan in mind, LOL. I actually got in there about 20 minutes after he did because there’s a flea market right across the street. So by the time we get in there, J has, according to his plan, found a table and is laughing and drinking it up with the women around the table. We come over there and right away they give us beer (I saw the cap being opened–no roofies for me, LOL) and order shots for the table. We’re all dancing and having a great time. I go to the dancefloor to dance for a bit (which I’ll get back to in a second) and I can see the table from the dancefloor. Sure enough I see the waiter with a broken glass in his hand, trying to get one of the guys (not J of course because he’d already dipped, LOL) to pay for all the drinks we’d had.

Now before I get into the rest of the night–I have to decribe the “dancing” I saw at this club. It was a techno club–and REALLY packed for a Wednesday night. (I think it’s wednesday anyway…) I can’t begin to decribe how these guys were dancing. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seeen in my life. Not one person was on beat. Well, let me clarify, I could count on one hand how many people in the entire club were on beat. This one guy in particular would wave both his hands in the air and sorta jerk his head back and forth. You know I’ma try and do an impression when I get back into the states…it’s
WORSE than Cobra in Rome, LOL.

So anyway, after we witness the scam going down, me and O leave to go to another bar. O is so freakin funny. He’s from Israel and I went with him to try and find a club more suitable to his alternative style. (Ya’ll know I’m in China–ain’t trying to say anything that might get his ass locked up, LOL). He had me amused all night–he’d see someone and say “oh he’s totally f*ckable…I’d like to take him home and torture him for 7 days.” Or “oooh, I’d like to teach him a few things.” I told him he could do his thing, but just make sure I got back safely before he tortured anyone, LOL.

So after not finding the place he was looking for, we head back to 1+1. J was Drunk. Drunk is actually an understatement. He was puking all up in the club. And it was so funny to see the Chinese security guards looking worried and trying to tell him he couldn’t throw up there, LOL.

We actually didn’t leave right away–we sat J in a corner and continued to dance and have a good time. We met some other folks–no scammers, who were nice and bought us drinks too. We finally left–got back around 2:30 am. J got it together after about 20 minutes of telling him we weren’t leaving him in the club and it was time to go. After puking a few more times, we all got in a cab and called it a night.

I’m starving now…just realized I haven’t eaten since this morning. I’ll update ya’ll on my day today a bit later…