I Heart Yangshuo…Except for…
1. That damn electric motorbike. So yesterday we biked outside of the city and it was really relaxing. The same place that I rented my rickity bike from also had these oh so cute electric motorbikes. Although I’ve never ridden a motorcycle by myself, China’s the place to get my first mini-motorcycle experience, right? LOL.
All was well until I was about 10 minutes outside of town. I ventured off onto a side street which was parallel to the river. It was beautiful. Until the tire blew. It’s like, 2 in the afternoon, hot as hell and the freakin tire blew. My lazy behind wanted to try and ride real slow on a flat tire so I wouldn’t have to walk the heavy bike back in the blazing heat…that didn’t work, so I started walking. I was just about to start cursing the entire Chinese race since about 20 people passed me. Even though I know how to change my own flat tire (thanks dad for the lesson), I’ve never actually had to do it myself. I usually just look really sad, get down on one knee and pretend to get ready to change it, and a chivalrous man will almost always stop to prevent me from breaking a nail. So anyway, not only did I break some nails today, I was looking mad crazy pushing this heavy ass bike. Then someone finally stopped and helped me out. Luckily the tire blew close to this dudes shop, so he brought up all the stuff to replace the tire. What pissed me off though, was that the woman who rented the bike to me had apparently already patched that SAME TIRE at least 4 times…I saw the patches myself. Shiesty. And of course I had to pay the guy who fixed the tire. Only 25 yuan–but at that time I was just so happy that the bike was in working order again…
2. I Heart Yangshuo…except for the little old ladies. These women give “get your hustle on” an entirely new meaning. These little old Chinese ladies are everywhere, trying to sell you the most useless junk ever. At breakfast at 8 am? The little old lady will walk up to your table, mid-bite, and put some trinket in your face trying to get you to buy. Climbing the 728 steps to get up the mountain (Moon Hill)? The little old ladies will FOLLOW YOU up the mountain trying to sell you water. If you say “don’t want, thank you” (I know how to say it in Chinese, but it’s written in my own ebonic way so that I can remember the pronunciation, LOL. Sounds like “doi-bu-tee shay-a-shay”) the women will say “okay later” (in english–one of like 3 english phrases they know…) Little did we know that “okay later” meant the little old lady would take a short cut to a higher part of the mountain. When we get there she’s like “okay it’s later. want to buy some water.” Or you could just be walking down the street and the little old ladies will try to sell you hats, postcards etc…
3. I Heart Yangshuo…except the toilets. I alluded to this yesterday. Actually, it’s not just Yangshuo, it’s everywhere in China, but worse here, LOL. I haven’t seen one western toilet in the city. I’m sort of use to them, but I still haven’t mastered the art of peeing without splashing all over my toes. I actually asked a girl I met the other day how the Chinese folk do it…and her answer was that maybe I’m not squatting down far enough. But damn, if you “really squat” you have to have something to hold on to. In my tiny tiny bathroom, I could hold on to the sink. And that’s okay, because I’m the only one using it and I’m not worried about getting my “hover and cover” on. But in a public place. Oh hell to the naw. Then, what if I lost my footing and slipped?! I get scared just thinking about that. So I guess I’ll just have to keep splashing piss on my foot…
And on that note, I’m about to sign out, LOL. I’m on the way to the bus station–on my way to HONG KONG! I absolutely can’t wait! Best part? There’s a $5000 fine for spitting in public, LOL. I think I’ma like that place!