Ask Queen Simone: Fighting Frenemies

This post is a throwback from 2013! Enjoy!

Dear Queen Simone,
What do you do if you are on a trip, but not all travelers get along?
K.F. from New York


Dear K.F.

I made a conscious choice to give up (most) of reality TV. Although I do enjoy some ratchetness I decided to give real actors a chance. HOWEVER, there is one caveat. I can’t quite let go of Basketball Wives. And some of my favorite scenes involve frienemies fighting while abroad. Who can forget when Tami had Meeka seeing stars during their trip to Italy in season three???

Or when Tami again had too many drinks and went off on Kesha while in Tahiti in season four?

These clips are so entertaining for me because I was not actually there, having my trip ruined by these people…. It’s also hilarious because I had a travel experience where I wanted to shake the sh*t out of one of the travelers. However, unlike the Basketball Wives scenario, I had not met the person prior to the trip.

I did a girls trip to Houston for the Superbowl several years ago. Two people on the trip were a part of my “travel crew” (my cousin and one of my college friends) and one was the invitee of my cousin. Although my cousin assured me that her girl was “cool,” unless “cool” meant crazy and rude groupie, then I think our definitions were different…

First, this chick had orange hair. It did come from a bad dye job…but her hair was orange. I have had a bad dye job that resulted in orange hair…so I tried not to judge…although I did by the end of the weekend because her personality was just as wack as her hair. We get to the airport, and this chick is just rude…to EVERYONE. TSA agents. Flight crew. Bartenders. We get to the front of security and she starts singing that Twista song Slow Jamz because she said that one of the agents reminded her of it. In case your memory is failing you, it was the part of the song that goes “she got a light skinned friend, look like Michael Jackson, she got a dark skinned friend, look like Michael Jackson” … the rest of us are MORTIFIED. Like, did she really just do that? Audibly?

The rest of the trip was downhill from there and included: her saying that her cash was low and that she needed to go link up with one of her baller friends because he would give her money if she did (uhm, isn’t that prostituttion?); her claiming that she had this fabulous hook up for a party but once we got to the front of the line, her telling the rest of us “you better find a friend and get in where you fit in” (meaning that she had no hook up and that we should try to make friends with one of the ballers walking in, in hopes that they would think we were cute and hook us up for the party–uhm, now she’s trying to pimp ME out). She also made the mistake of thinking she could talk to me any kind of way…and we most surely had a verbal argument before the weekend was over. Thank goodness it wasn’t an epic BBall wives type fight…but I understand how it coulda happened.

Unfortunately I was much younger then and made a mistake that I would try my best to avoid now–traveling with someone I haven’t spent time with previously. Although my cousin said her girl was “cool” the fact is that my cousin didn’t know that person well either–and also ended up falling out with her at some point later. I am honestly at a point know where if I can help it, I won’t travel with anyone that I haven’t spent at least *some* time with previously. I recently turned down a trip to Martha’s Vineyard because the friend inviting me was staying with someone that I have no desire to spend any amount of free time with. I asked who was going on the trip. And when the name was mentioned, I said “you know I don’t really fool with her like that–the last thing I want to do is spend my free time with someone I don’t care for–but thanks for the invitation.” The person who invited me got quite a laugh at my honesty, but said she understood and that was it. I’m sure they had a fabulous time–made even better by the fact that I wasn’t there trying to pretend to like someone I don’t.

But what if you are already on the trip as I was with Orange Creamsicle? The older, wiser me would have handled the situation a bit differently. Although I still don’t tolerate people speaking to me any kind of way–I certainly would have opted to spend less time with her during the trip. Sometimes while traveling, people think that you have to spend every waking minute with every person for the duration of the trip. Not true. In the days of wi-fi, cell phones, ubers, and rental cars… it is perfectly acceptable to excuse yourself for a few hours to keep from having an altercation. If necessary, tell someone else in the group that your intention is not to be mean or anti-social, but that some time away is necessary to keep from ruining everyone else’s trip. Chances are the other people on the trip understand–and are probably jealous that they did not use the excuse first.